


A Scandalous Affair by HotWheelz69

by CircuitSaloon



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One)
Genre: Crack, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, OOC, Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:34:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28255500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CircuitSaloon/pseuds/CircuitSaloon
Summary: This is a fic submission to this account from someone anonymous under the username HotWheelz69. He wanted me to make it very clear to the audience that he doesn't know who Crowbar of Iacon is and has never met him before in his life.
Relationships: Ultra Magnus/Original Character(s)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 6





	A Scandalous Affair by HotWheelz69

“He’s late,” Ultra Magnus thought to himself, chewing on one of the knuckles on his servo. His very SEXY motorcycle secretary was late to work again. But it was ok because Ultra Magnus thought he was SUPER SEXY. Hot Wheelz could show up to work whenever he wanted to and it wouldn’t matter. He was THAT hot.

He did eventually show up, though.

“Sorry I’m late,” said the stud, “I didn’t want to show up.” Upon seeing Hot Wheelz walk into the office, Ultra Magnus almost overloaded. But he didn’t because that would be unprofessional.

“Hot Wheelz,” Ultra Magnus said, “I’m glad you’re here. Let’s totally make out right now.”

Hot Wheelz, who was smoking INDOORS because that’s what bad bots like him do all the time, took out the cygarette from his intake and blew out the smoke into the atmosphere. Ultra Magnus thought it was really hot and almost overloaded again.

“Magnus, you know I can’t do that,” Hot Wheelz said. Ultra Magnus also thought it was really hot whenever Hot Wheelz called him ‘Magnus’ instead of ‘Ultra Magnus’ because it just was.

Ultra Magnus got up from his desk and fell to his knee plates in front of Hot Wheelz so he could be closer to optic level. Because Hot Wheelz was AVERAGE HEIGHT FOR A MECH OF HIS CLASS SIZE AND NOT SHORT AT ALL. AND EVEN IF PEOPLE THOUGHT THAT HE WAS SHORT HE WAS STILL PRETTY TALL BECAUSE FRAG THOSE PEOPLE. THEIR OPINIONS DON’T EVEN MATTER. (Author’s Note: Ultra Magnus thinks Hot Wheelz is super tall anyway.) “Please, Hot Wheelz,” Ultra Magnus begged, which Hot Wheelz kinda thought was sexy of him. “My frame is ready. TAKE ME.”

Hot Wheelz took another drag of his cygarette and blew the smoke right into Ulta Magnus’ face. It made Ultra Magnus moan REALLY LOUD. He moaned so loud that Megatron, who was walking past the door heard it and IMMEDIATELY knew what was going on. Megatron was jealous of Ultra Magnus because Hot Wheelz was an INTERFACE GOD WITH SO MUCH STAMINA. Like, so much stamina that he could go all night long without recharge OR fuel. So Megatron started to cry as he walked away because he knew he would never EVER be good enough for someone like Hot Wheelz. Megatron was a FILTHY DECEPTICON and Hot Wheelz’ standards were far too high to even look at hunks of scrap metal like him. In fact, whenever Hot Wheelz saw Megatron he went right up to him and spit in his face. He was too cool to care. Frag Megatron.

“Ok,” Hot Wheelz said, “you’ve twisted my arm.”

(Author’s Note: Ok, so I’m at work right now so I don’t have the time to write out the elaborate and very detailed interfacing scene that Hot Wheelz TOTALLY deserves but just so everyone knows, Ultra Magnus overloaded at least 5 that he could recall and cried tears of joy because it was THAT good. Hot Wheelz is the best lover in all of Cybertron and never fails to please his partners. He’s honestly the best and awesome.)

(Author’s Note: They also made out a lot, too.)

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, so this was a very satirical fic meant for comedy purposes only. I've joked with my friends in the past about Crowbar writing Ultra Magnus fanfiction under the name HotWheelz69 and thought that it would be HILARIOUS if I wrote a fic about that.
> 
> For posts and updates about my other, non-crack fics and characters you can find me on Twitter @CircuitSaloon!


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